Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
