You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to have your abortion
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
