I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
