can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
