have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
