Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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