I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
