i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
