And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
