there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
