she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
