ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just pynch a tree in the face
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm just crazy horny about you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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