i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
vagina is talking i cant
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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