Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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