hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
