My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
