Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
