you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
