i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
