ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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