i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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