I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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