the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
