and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize