Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we have pet lesbian snakes
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
