That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
