Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
