is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
