I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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