I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
