And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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