i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize