Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
