I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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