Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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