Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
