People in love make me want to vomit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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