I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
