Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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