I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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