FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
