Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
