okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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