3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
