Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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