I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
