just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
