we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
