Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My cat gives me a boner
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
