Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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