He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
