this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And then he peed in my hair
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