oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
