Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
