Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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