So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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