last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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