Swine flu. Run for my life!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
