yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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