I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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