i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
