im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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