I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
