Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
