it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
