If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize